Joe's Journal

Most people invest a lot of time and energy looking for the wizard that will pass on the wisdom that they need, the courage that they need, and the heart to persist in tough times. I actually love the part of the movie The Wizard of Oz when Dorothy actually discovers she had all of that all the time. It was always inside of her. As the song goes, the Wizard didn’t give anything to the Tin Man that he didn’t already have.

Our journey into creating, growing, and leading a tribe of 150 people becomes so much more natural when we discover that it is in our human DNA to belong to a tribe. Birds flock, fish swarm, dolphins pod, wolves pack, lions pride, and humans tribe. To evolve yourself to the level of tribal leader is your hero’s journey and to discover it is within you, it is your natural ability to lead, guide, and protect your tribe. It all starts with self-appointment. You’re not waiting for anyone to anoint you as their tribal leader. You simply appoint yourself. Once you claim the role of tribal leader, then the work is who’s in your tribe, and how do you choose to connect with and communicate with your tribe in the most creative way.

 

Here’s a simple mindset that I have fully integrated into my life, and it goes like this.

I love the thought that I impact every person in every conversation by focusing on one thing. Improve their lives. Now, one way that I can improve a person’s life is introduce them to a product, a service, an experience, whatever I see fit for the person in front of me that will take them to a place that they never thought possible.

So when you genuinely have the interest of the person in front of you as the sole motivator, there’s no such thing as a client, a future client, a real estate agent, or in my case or coach. My intention is to be such a powerful source in their lives, that they have no other option but want to refer me to everybody that they know.

 

Think of a time when you were participating in something that was making someone’s life better for no other reason than you just wanted to be of service.

Maybe you provided someone help through a tough time, or maybe you just opened up your heart and you listened compassionately to a person who needed to be heard. Although most people focus on getting love, fulfillment actually occurs from giving love. The loving behavior that naturally flows from a wide-open heart makes the activity or the opportunity to be of service an honor and a privilege, whether it’s at home or wherever you are. Service is also a way to get out of yourself and focus on others.

I’ve been blessed to have been a sober member of Alcoholics Anonymous, AA, since September 4, 1984. It’s a long time. One of the key commitments in my early sobriety was performing acts of service, like making coffee for the group, setting up the chairs, taking care of the reading materials, cleaning up after the meeting, and what I found in being of selfless service is that I didn’t think about myself. When I first got sober, that was my problem. My problem wasn’t that I thought about myself, my problem was that’s all I thought about was myself. Being of selfless service for those first 10 years of sobriety really kicked that character defect to the curb.

Today, I can say my life is all about serving. Now, all lasting change begins on the inside and works its way out. Experience seems to suggest that whatever I want in life, it will seem that I get it much faster when I focus just on giving it and helping other people get it. If I want love, I get it faster when I give love. If I want money, I get it faster when I focus on helping other people get money. If I want to be in a great conversation, I get it when I focus on giving other people a great conversation.

Now this law applies equally well to building a referral business and increasing your referability. If I want people to become comfortable referring people they care about to me, I must first become comfortable referring the people I care about to others. I love that thought. I love the thought that I truly serve when I refer others, because I’m modeling the behavior I want them to follow.

Adults always learn best by example. So the best way to model referable behavior is to help your clients access the highest quality referable service they need before, during, and after the transaction.

So today, as you go out into the world, consider how can you become more referable by referring more.