Think of a time when you were participating in something that was making someone’s life better for no other reason than you just wanted to be of service.
Maybe you provided someone help through a tough time, or maybe you just opened up your heart and you listened compassionately to a person who needed to be heard. Although most people focus on getting love, fulfillment actually occurs from giving love. The loving behavior that naturally flows from a wide-open heart makes the activity or the opportunity to be of service an honor and a privilege, whether it’s at home or wherever you are. Service is also a way to get out of yourself and focus on others.
I’ve been blessed to have been a sober member of Alcoholics Anonymous, AA, since September 4, 1984. It’s a long time. One of the key commitments in my early sobriety was performing acts of service, like making coffee for the group, setting up the chairs, taking care of the reading materials, cleaning up after the meeting, and what I found in being of selfless service is that I didn’t think about myself. When I first got sober, that was my problem. My problem wasn’t that I thought about myself, my problem was that’s all I thought about was myself. Being of selfless service for those first 10 years of sobriety really kicked that character defect to the curb.
Today, I can say my life is all about serving. Now, all lasting change begins on the inside and works its way out. Experience seems to suggest that whatever I want in life, it will seem that I get it much faster when I focus just on giving it and helping other people get it. If I want love, I get it faster when I give love. If I want money, I get it faster when I focus on helping other people get money. If I want to be in a great conversation, I get it when I focus on giving other people a great conversation.
Now this law applies equally well to building a referral business and increasing your referability. If I want people to become comfortable referring people they care about to me, I must first become comfortable referring the people I care about to others. I love that thought. I love the thought that I truly serve when I refer others, because I’m modeling the behavior I want them to follow.
Adults always learn best by example. So the best way to model referable behavior is to help your clients access the highest quality referable service they need before, during, and after the transaction.
So today, as you go out into the world, consider how can you become more referable by referring more.
