For just a minute, imagine there are many different types of conversations. However, I’ve narrowed it down to five categories. I’m sure there’s more, but look at these five.
Number one. Idle chatter, chitchat. Like, “How are you?” “Oh, I’m fine. How are you?” “Oh, it’s really hot out, isn’t it?” “Yeah. I think it’s going to be that way. Actually, it’s going to rain.” “No. No, it’s not. I looked at the weather the other day.”
And that chitchat could go on forever. It’s one of the things that I have the most difficulty in life with is idle chitchat.
The conversation, too, could be called social interaction where there’s lots of reminiscing about things in the past. You bump into someone and you go “Oh, yeah, you remember the ’69 Cubs with Ron Santo at third base, Kessinger at short stop, Ron Beckert at second, Ernie Banks at first, Randy Huntley behind the plate, Billy Williams out in left field, Jim Hickman in center. Oh, yeah, that was a great team, what was your favorite team?” “Oh, it was the ’73 Yankees.” And that can go on for hours. It’s fun if you’ve got common interest.
Then there’s a third type of conversation that I call politically charged conversations, and you see a lot of this on Facebook where people post their opinion as if it’s fact, and these conversations engage you if you feel charged about your opinion, and very opinionated conversations.
Then there’s a fourth type of conversation that we’ll call the transactional conversation where you call up your client and you let them know what’s happening with the home inspector, or with appraisal, or with a counter offer, and those kind of things.
And then there’s this fifth type of conversation that I like to call is the money making, meaningful conversation. And these conversations occur with people both in your tribe, and strangers. It’s when you get deeply interested in their lives, their goals, their inspirations, their challenges. It’s when a person says “You know, I’m really struggling with my son, or my daughter.” And you say “Gosh, if you’d like to talk about it, I might be a really good listener for you.”
And then you invite them to engage in some thoughts about how to improve the situation. You might ask if you were coaching you, what things would you tell yourself to do? You don’t give advice, you really focus on allowing them to just let them talk it out. You might ask questions like “What would be ideal? How would you like your son to be?” And these conversations open the person’s heart, and feel deeply heard, and deeply connected. And that’s what most people need when they have a struggle, or a challenge, or something that they’re facing in their life. They just need to be heard.
Now, why are these money making conversations? Well, whenever you leave a person better than you found them, and you gave them an experience of being more interested than trying to be interesting about real estate or about the mortgage business, and if you do ask for anything, it comes from their request. If they say to you “Is there anything I can do for you?” And you say things like “Oh, wow, that’s really nice of you to offer. As you know, I have a tribe of clients that I’d love to refer, and connect great services, and great products, and great experiences to.” If you could think of one product, experience, or service, something that you really would call your favorite, who would that be? And if they have one, you take that information, and then you might ask for an introduction.
You may say, “Instead of me just calling them, would you be willing to just introduce the two of us? And what do you think the best way would be to introduce us?” See, experience shows when you’re deeply interested and very encouraging, and you help people explore new possibilities for situations and challenges that they’re working on without giving your advice, it’s human nature that most people want to reciprocate. Then, asking them to introduce you to an experience, or a product, or a service that they’ve enjoyed is an easy way for them to give back to you, and that’s a money making conversation.
So, today, ask yourself, how can I create more meaningful moneymaking conversations?