For just a minute, imagine there are many different types of conversations. However, I’ve narrowed it down to five categories. I’m sure there’s more, but look at these five.

Number one. Idle chatter, chitchat. Like, “How are you?” “Oh, I’m fine. How are you?” “Oh, it’s really hot out, isn’t it?” “Yeah. I think it’s going to be that way. Actually, it’s going to rain.” “No. No, it’s not. I looked at the weather the other day.”

And that chitchat could go on forever. It’s one of the things that I have the most difficulty in life with is idle chitchat.

The conversation, too, could be called social interaction where there’s lots of reminiscing about things in the past. You bump into someone and you go “Oh, yeah, you remember the ’69 Cubs with Ron Santo at third base, Kessinger at short stop, Ron Beckert at second, Ernie Banks at first, Randy Huntley behind the plate, Billy Williams out in left field, Jim Hickman in center. Oh, yeah, that was a great team, what was your favorite team?” “Oh, it was the ’73 Yankees.” And that can go on for hours. It’s fun if you’ve got common interest.

Then there’s a third type of conversation that I call politically charged conversations, and you see a lot of this on Facebook where people post their opinion as if it’s fact, and these conversations engage you if you feel charged about your opinion, and very opinionated conversations.

Then there’s a fourth type of conversation that we’ll call the transactional conversation where you call up your client and you let them know what’s happening with the home inspector, or with appraisal, or with a counter offer, and those kind of things.

And then there’s this fifth type of conversation that I like to call is the money making, meaningful conversation. And these conversations occur with people both in your tribe, and strangers. It’s when you get deeply interested in their lives, their goals, their inspirations, their challenges. It’s when a person says “You know, I’m really struggling with my son, or my daughter.” And you say “Gosh, if you’d like to talk about it, I might be a really good listener for you.”

And then you invite them to engage in some thoughts about how to improve the situation. You might ask if you were coaching you, what things would you tell yourself to do? You don’t give advice, you really focus on allowing them to just let them talk it out. You might ask questions like “What would be ideal? How would you like your son to be?” And these conversations open the person’s heart, and feel deeply heard, and deeply connected. And that’s what most people need when they have a struggle, or a challenge, or something that they’re facing in their life. They just need to be heard.

Now, why are these money making conversations? Well, whenever you leave a person better than you found them, and you gave them an experience of being more interested than trying to be interesting about real estate or about the mortgage business, and if you do ask for anything, it comes from their request. If they say to you “Is there anything I can do for you?” And you say things like “Oh, wow, that’s really nice of you to offer. As you know, I have a tribe of clients that I’d love to refer, and connect great services, and great products, and great experiences to.” If you could think of one product, experience, or service, something that you really would call your favorite, who would that be? And if they have one, you take that information, and then you might ask for an introduction.

You may say, “Instead of me just calling them, would you be willing to just introduce the two of us? And what do you think the best way would be to introduce us?” See, experience shows when you’re deeply interested and very encouraging, and you help people explore new possibilities for situations and challenges that they’re working on without giving your advice, it’s human nature that most people want to reciprocate. Then, asking them to introduce you to an experience, or a product, or a service that they’ve enjoyed is an easy way for them to give back to you, and that’s a money making conversation.

So, today, ask yourself, how can I create more meaningful moneymaking conversations?

 

The other day, a client of mine said she’s really looking forward to the comfort of retirement.

Experience shows that retirement often means an increase in visits to the doctor, an increase in prescriptions, even an increase in depression. And for my dad, an early death. My dad retired at 60 and he died an old man at 63. My coach, Dan Sullivan, likes to say, “We die when the applause stops.” My dad was a very successful interior decorator. He was really good. He got lots of applause, lots of acknowledgement for his unique ability. When he retired, the applause stopped and he died.

Now, that doesn’t fit for everyone. But I think it fits for most entrepreneurs. As you’ve heard me talk about this in the past, you are an entrepreneur who is currently selling homes or currently closing loans. As an entrepreneur, what makes you unique is that you don’t want comfort. You want challenge. You want adventure. Maybe you’ve heard me say this in the past, but it’s really worth repeating. At the turn of the century cod fish were in much demand on the east coast. News of the tasty fish quickly spread across the country all the way to the west coast. There was however a problem. How could they get the cod fish across the country and still keep it fresh?

They tried to freeze the fish and send it by rail, the fastest means at the time. But when it was prepared it turned out to be very mushy and lacked flavor.

Then someone decided to ship the fish live turning railroad cars into huge saltwater aquariums. When the cod fish arrived they were alive but when they were prepared they were still mushy and tasteless.

After studying the cod fish someone discovered that their natural enemy was the catfish. This time when the cod fish were put in the tanks, they placed a few catfish in with them. Those catfish chased the cod fish all the way across the country to the west coast.

This time when the cod fish were prepared, they were flaky and had the same flavor as they did when they were caught fresh and prepared on the east coast. You see, the catfish kept the cod from becoming stale.

Whats or who is the catfish in your life keeping you challenged so you stay fresh?

Peter is a futurist. He runs an annual conference called Abundance 360, and he’s authored several books. My favorite is his book called Abundance. In the book, Peter creates the case that because of technology, artificial intelligence, virtual reality, augmented reality, and the quantum capacity of the microchip, we are living in a time of unprecedented opportunity. For example, the fact is that today, we can have a microchip implanted in our bodies that send a message to a medical lab the split second a bacteria or a virus enters your body, and you’re instantly notified by text of the exact antidote to heal or kill that bug before it takes hold.

If you think about that, that is amazing. That is absolutely fascinating. And it makes a case for living well into our 90s and 100s, living vibrantly active lives. To me, this is a meaningful, fascinating, and amazing conversation.

So, what does this have to do with seeing problems as gold mines? Well, what I’ve come to realize is that you and I always have available a choice between creating or reacting. When you sit down with a client or a tribe member and they share a problem with you, this is your opportunity to find gold.

Here’s a great question to ask when a person presents you with a problem. You simply ask this question.

“Given what’s happening in your life right now, what would you like to create?”

Before you can answer that question, you must be crystal clear what you want. So let me remind you, opportunities to give value to others, to share your gifts with others, occurs in conversation, deep, meaningful conversation.

I love the thought that my business creates a reliable, predictable income once I have created a reliable, predictable system that creates opportunities to have meaningful conversations with people who matter.