What I don’t like in others is really what I don’t like in myself. I’d like to thank Carl Jung for that thought. Carl Jung, a great therapist, said, “What you do not want to see in yourself, you project onto the world and see outside you.” Carl called it “dynamic projection” and that’s a tough one.  I know it’s a tough one for me. It’s a tough one for a guy like me who automatically loves to judge others.  This has been a really critical area on my path of authentic power.

For example, when I’m in a group of people, either I must have the willingness to walk up to someone in the room or on a phone call and say, “Hey, listen, I’m feeling some distance from you, and there must be a part of me that I don’t like that I see in you, and I want to clear that because this is where my authentic power is.”  I’ve got to tell you, I’ve done that many, many times. That’s the power of being part of a group of people who are all on the path to having a soulful significance where you make a difference authentically.

Extraordinary things can happen when you open yourself to a constant fresh perspective with individual people in an authentic relationship. I can tell story, after story, after story of people who have come to me and have told me something that was creating distance between me and them. As soon as they shared it with me that it was a projection that they had, it disappeared and they found their voice. I invite you to do the same thing.

When you are feeling distance, ask yourself, “What is it in that person that reminds me of the part of me that I’m not connected to? That if I could close the gap between myself and that person, I might close the gap between that part of me and the most authentic part of me.” That takes enormous courage to find that power. But when you find it, you will find a voice that is expressed in a world like no other.

 

I’ve noticed when I’m judging. I notice when I’m overanalyzing. Right now, are you overanalyzing, or are you judging? Notice when you’re comparing yourself to others. I notice when I’m comparing myself to others. I notice when I’m over planning. I notice that. I can see those thoughts and feel those thoughts. I also focus when I’m grateful and when I’m appreciative. I notice what it feels like to be open and vulnerable. Personal growth or personal development is practicing daily and developing your awareness of being mindful of what thoughts create what emotions. We are what we think. I love what the Buddha says. “All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts, we make our world.” Thoughts and emotions happen as a result of your interaction with the world based on your perception of past experiences.

It’s the way the mind works. How you and I perceive the world helps us form our thoughts that become our reactions and our behaviors, both unconsciously and consciously. If we perceive the world as unfriendly, it helps us form thoughts that become protective and harsh or quick to defend. We may not even be conscious until someone lovingly points it out and helps us into new awareness. After all, your thoughts create your feelings. Your thoughts create your emotions. Your thoughts create your behavior. What you attract in your life is a result of what you’ve been thinking about for a long time. Just look around you. It’s evidence of what you’re thinking.

The good part is this. This is the good news, and I love this thought. Emotions are the fuel for creation. We need emotion. Everything you dwell upon in your mind and your heart, everything that you believe in, is drawn into physical manifestation. The more emotion you put behind that, the faster it is manifested. Thank goodness for feelings that create emotions. Feelings and emotions are what ignite your desire and create what you want. Right now, just ask yourself, 1 low, 10 high, how happy do you feel? Right now, how happy do you feel? Pick a happier thought. Notice that if you dare to feel really good, make a thought that’s even happier. If you really want to feel great, make a list of 50 things that you are grateful for only if you really, really, really want to put some strong emotion behind your creation. I love that thought. Gratitude is the fuel for creation, because it’s such a high level of octane emotion, energy in motion.

 

One of the things that I love to do is write down quotes to remind me what commitment to small daily actions will do for me over a long period of time. I’ve noticed that quotes that inspire me change overtime, because of my own personal growth. Today, one of the quotes that I love to share with my private coaching clients is: “Only the disciplined are free. If we don’t get tough on ourselves, life will get tough on me.”

I love the thought that I need to discipline myself to do what is necessary all the time, instead of just some of the time. Becoming more disciplined around what actions to take has real life, day to day application that has immediate benefits. In Eknath Easwaran’s book, Conquest of the Mind, he writes: “The Buddha, the most practical of all teachers, defines the wise man or woman as thoroughly practical this way.”

He says, “One who will gladly give up small pleasures to gain greater joy.” I love that thought. Discipline is the person who gladly gives up smaller pleasures to gain greater joy. One of my new disciplines is each time I go on Facebook, I pick one person who has liked, shared, or commented on one of my posts.

I look at that person, think about them, and then I find a quote that reminds me of them, and I send it to them in a private message. Just this morning, I sent this message to one of your referral ignite teammates, Joshua Keen who is also a BroVance Member and one of our future coaches and Coaching Academy students.

For Joshua, I said to him, “This quote really reminds me of you.” And the quote is, “Deep work, professional activities, performed in a state of distraction free concentration that push the cognitive capabilities to their limit. These efforts create new value, improve your skills, and are hard to replicate.”

Now, I know that Joshua does deep work, and this message connects with him perfectly. And I love the discipline of finding one person each time I go onto Facebook who has liked, shared, or commented with me a quote that reminds me of them.

Now of course, it takes time to think about the quote, the quote that matches that person perfectly. But, Google makes that pretty easy. The discipline is to think about how can I impact one person a day in my tribe with a quote that inspires me? It’s really worth developing this discipline. Not only do I always get a response, I usually get a very positive response.

And not only will you connect with the quote, but you’ll deepen your connection with that tribe member. That’s really worth thinking about, isn’t it? Only the disciplined are free. And if we don’t get tough on ourselves, life will get tough on me.